


Kara - The New Beginning

by UnknownAlien3388



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Established Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, F/F, GP, Kara Zor-El Has a Penis, Kara Zor-El has PTSD, Kara Zor-El has abandonment issues, Kara Zor-El has separation anxiety, Kara Zor-El needs a hug, Kara Zor-El transforms into a panther, Kara zor-El has trust issues, Lena Luthor Gains Powers, Minor Kara Danvers/Mon-El, Protective Kara Zor-El, Protective Lena Luthor, Separation Anxiety, Trust Issues, lena luthor dies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-01-16 08:49:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21268310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnknownAlien3388/pseuds/UnknownAlien3388
Summary: Summary:Kara Zor-El suffers from severe abandonment and trust issues which she thought she had under control until all of her loved one slowly slipped away.Winn hasn't been the same since the kiss. James hasn't spoken to Kara since the 'guardian incident'.Mon-El hasn't spoken to her since she refused to get back with him. J'onn has been swamped at the DEO and hardly has any time for anything else.Alex has been too busy in the honeymoon stage of her relationship with Maggie. No one seems to understand or wants to help Kara, they just unintentionally make it worse.Kara, not for the first time since coming to earth as a teenager felt alone - that was until Lena. Lena slowly but surely breaks down Kara’s walls and helps build her trust whilst becoming the most important person in Kara’s life.





	1. Preface:

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
> 
> The work has been inspired by and is based on the television series Supergirl.  
I do not own the characters and canon events of the show. They are owned by the CW Network.
> 
> I do not intend to be offensive towards anyone, if anything written can be perceived as harmful to any community or person, I apologize, but that was not the purpose of this work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still making tiny edits to my work and there will be a lot of reposting of already posted chapters so I apologize in advance for any annoyance and look forward to posting my next chapter
> 
> Please make sure to read the tags carefully before continuing to read this story, also note that as this is an ongoing story I will be editing and changing parts as I go.
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment if I've made an mistakes, got information wrong or you have ideas for the story.

# Preface

Kara Zor-El likes to think she is a very strong independent woman but with a past like hers it wasn't surprising that she has struggles, especially with her mental health. I mean who wouldn't after watching your whole planet, your people and your culture explode right before your very eyes and unfortunately, you couldn't do a single thing to stop it.

Kara’s severe abandonment issues and separation anxiety affect her and have for most of her life. She thought she had everything under control, especially with the support from her SuperFriends. Except unbeknown to her everyone slowly started to slip away, and everything took a turn for the worse.

Starting with Winn - who hadn't been the same since the kiss (if you could even call it that) and he said he was okay being friends afterwards, obviously that’s a lie though because he’s not. Second was James who stopped any and all contact with Kara after what people like to call the 'guardian incident'. James likes to tell anyone who would listen that it was because she didn't trust him, but it was really because his super-sized ego was deeply damaged by her and he felt his masculinity was being questioned.

Next was Mon-El who bullied her and then tried to ignore and avoid her. Since she refused to get back with him after he got caught cheating for the third time (with the same person), it was later revealed that he had been having an affair with Eve who he cheated on Kara with and lied about it for months. When he was asked about it later, he used the excuse of being a Daximite. Then there was J'onn, who has been working twice his normal workload since Lucy went undercover. He now rarely has any time for anything else - including spending time with Kara outside of Supergirl duties.

Lastly, the one that hurt the most was Alex. Since she has been too busy in the honeymoon stage of her relationship with Maggie and is all loved up, she hasn’t spent any time with Kara outside of work, let alone noticing anything is wrong with her.

Kara didn’t notice anything at first, she just thought they were tired from their workload or something important came up but after it kept happening, she soon realized she was slowly being abandoned. At first, she waited, gave them time to come to her but when nothing changed, she decided to confront them all. Kara spoke to them all separately and was told she was just being paranoid, and everyone brushed off her concerns.

Not for the first time since coming to Earth has she felt well and truly alone in a room full of people. She slowly started locking herself in her apartment and only coming out for work and Super-girl business.

Then Lena stepped in, who everyone thought was just like her evil family. Just another evil Luther but really, she was an honest woman. She did things with the best intentions in mind and a heart made of pure gold. She understood Kara and respected her like no one else ever did or truly could. Her friends and family tried to understand and help but they were just unintentionally making it worse.

Lena slowly but surely climbed Kara's tall steel walls and became the most important person in her life without her even noticing. She also helped Kara with understanding and dealing with her issues, mainly because she doesn't try to fix what isn't broken or tell her to move on and get over it. And Lena definitely doesn’t make her feel paranoid and have her second guess their relationship and if Kara has any concerns Lena doesn’t just brush it off and call her Paranoid.

She also allows Kara to have the time and space when needed while still being there so she can do her own thing but still know that Lena was there for her no matter what.


	2. The First - Winn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first person Kara remembers abandoning her was Winn, see how it happened.

# The First - Winn

The very first time Kara felt truly alone was when she had lost Krypton. She had to watch as the explosion killed everyone and destroyed everything she had ever known. Still to this day, she swears she can remember the screams of her people as her planet burned. Due to the explosion of her pod being hit by shrapnel from her Planet it caused it to veer off course and enter a dark place in space known as the Phantom Zone. For years she was drifting alone in the endless darkness and slowly the blackness around her began to fill her soul. Until one day, she was pulled from the Phantom zone by an unseeing force and suddenly wasn't alone anymore as her baby cousin (who wasn't a baby anymore) Kal-El, pulled her from the wrecked pod after crash landing on the planet earth.

At first, she had thought that everything was going to be okay, that she would be happy, and they would be able to live as a family once again. That was until Kal-El (or Clark as he now prefers to be called) had left her with strangers and rarely saw her again, leaving her alone once more.

With her new 'family' the Danvers it didn't take long for them to make her one of their own even if sometimes she didn't feel like she belonged. They offered her a way beyond the darkness that had plagued her for so long, but she still had nightmares about her dying planet from time to time. In the beginning, Alex Danvers had really struggled with being a big sister especially to an unknown alien from a dead planet. She struggled as much as Kara Zor-El struggled to simply fit in on earth. But before long they quickly became close friends and as time passed, they became inseparable sisters or so she thought. For years Alex was her rock and only safe place, she was always there for Kara through thick and thin.

When she was older, she slowly but surely began to build up a small but loyal circle of friends outside of Alex, and it was perfect -until it wasn't. Kara couldn't pinpoint when it began but by the time, she noticed it was already too late. She had to watch as those she truly cared about walked out of her life as if she meant nothing to them.

Kara suspects it started with Winslow (Winn) Schott Jr. It was slow at first -he would miss games night here and there or a pizza and movie night or just any night they had plans to catch up. Until finally, Winn just stopped showing up at all outside of work. Which means the only time she saw him was at the D.E.O but even then, it was like he couldn't stand to be in the same room as her let alone work with her, unless need be (Read: Forced by J'onn). Still she got the feeling that during those times which were not that rare, if he had a choice, he would rather have his teeth pulled out one by one than be anywhere near her.

The break down in their relationship really affected Kara because they had been so close, and she thought their friendship was solid. Winn was her first real friend she made in National City, he was the first person she got to choose to share her secret with (he even made her first Supergirl outfit) and the distance in their relationship was adding to her already terrible issues with abandonment. Weeks went by of her giving Winn time and space to come to her when he was good and ready, but after one too many close calls and having her ass kicked in most if not all battles, she faced because of lack of relevant information going into each battle. she had had enough and decided if he wasn't going to be a grown up and talk to her about whatever his problem is with her then it was time, she confronted him.

"Winn, we need to talk now!!" Kara spoke with as much confidence in her voice as she could muster.

"No, we don't" Winn replied simply "the debriefing isn't for another half an hour soooooo" he said slowly as he tried to slip away from her.

"I am not talking about the debriefing, Winn, and you know that. I'm talking about the fact you keep avoiding me, like now for example. Why is that Winn? What did I do wrong so I can try and fix it?" she asked him sadly. "I miss you" She added in a broken whisper.

"Nothing, you did nothing wrong, Kara, I promise you really" Winn sighed.

"Then why are you avoiding me like the plague? If you say I didn't do anything wrong?" Kara asked him again, trying to remain calm.

"Like I said you did nothing wrong, Kara. Just leave it be" Winn answered, getting angry and already wanting out of the conversation and to be as far away from her as possible.

"Then why d-"

"BECAUSE WE KISSED, OKAY. WE GOD DAMN KISSED" Winn shouted at Kara before taking a deep breath. "We kissed and you told me you felt absolutely nothing and that broke my heart because I felt everything with that kiss. I felt fireworks, butterflies and it was completely amazing but yet you felt nothing. So yes, I've been avoiding you like “the plague”, as you so kindly put it.” He sneered, using finger quotation marks. “I want to be able to move on so I can finally heal from my heartbreak, but I can't do that while I spend all my free time either with you or thinking about you" he ranted on.

Kara went to say something, anything in the hopes of comforting her clearly hurt best friend but before she could say anything he continued on with his speech.

"Did you know I started seeing someone, Yep I did, shocker right? Someone actually liking me? Well, her name was Lyra Strayd, she's a Valerian refugee alien from Starhaven. We dated for a few months then one night she manipulated me into breaking into the National City Art Gallery with her to have public sex because she was into that kind of thing, she was an exhibitionist she said, however" He said with a big fake smile.

"Unknowingly stupid me, who was willing to do anything to make her happy even if it made me nervous and completely uncomfortable like having sex in a public place. I mean, who does that anyway? It was even more uncomfortable because I was under the impression we were going to have sex in a place I have previously been with you, the very person I am trying to get over. Also and here's the real kicker, ready? We were only doing it there so Lyra could steal a famous Van Gogh painting and frame me in her place, because interesting fact: she does not appear on security cameras, did you know that? I bet you didn't" Winn continued with a fake laugh before pausing. "You know what the worst part is?" He asked rhetorically. "The worst part is the whole night I kept thinking 'I wonder what Kara is doing right now?' or 'I wonder what Kara would do in this exact situation?" Winn gave her a disgusted look. "I was not even thinking about how my girlfriend of only a few months lied and framed me for a crime I didn't commit to pay off a debt her stupid brother owed to a low life street gang. So, I'm not asking or begging -I'm telling you I need time away from you so I can heal, fix things with Lyra and move on okay?" he demanded with disgust.

Once he was done talking, Winn stormed out of the D.E.O and away from her without a reply leaving a very hurt and totally confused Supergirl in his devastating wake.


	3. Next - James

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I may not of watched Supergirl but I still don't like James, read how he abuses his friendship with Kara.

# Next - James

She continued to feel like she was losing her friendship with Winn, even after a few weeks had passed since their talk. Sadly with all the weeks that did pass and all the effort she did put in, she still lost his friendship. Kara understood where Winn was coming from when he talked about his feelings, needing some time and space from her to heal and move on but that didn’t mean that the whole situation hasn’t upset her.

She didn’t consider what Winn truly meant when he said he needed time and space. Like literally traveling through actual time and space into the future. That hurt her but frankly the fact that he said goodbye to everyone (including the computers at the D.E.O) except her, broke her heart just that little more. She already suffered from abandonment issues, but his behaviour just added to them.

The next loss she suffered was from James Olsen. Unlike Winn, this loss was clear as day- James hadn't spoken with her since he told the world he was the guardian (or The Tin-can man as Lena preferred to call him). She asked J'onn - who had agreed - to give him a firm talking to about responsibility and hidden identities. This also happened to be the same speech she was given when she fought to become Supergirl.

This caused them to fight a lot and especially when it came out that she was the one behind J’onn being on his case all the time. Their last fight was because she was still angry that James lied for so long to her about so much (not including his 'Guardian' role). She was still angry that he was putting himself in dangerous situations for nothing more than his arrogant selfish need to be the big hero despite his very frail human state. He had a total lack of combat training, he had no back up, and no actual weapons or any real planning.

She was also irritated that he was constantly putting himself and everyone he cares about in danger. Never thinking about the big picture or the consequences. Too busy and always focused on himself and what his vigilante tactics would get him which was typically glory and fame like she got as Supergirl, but that was only if she succeeded with little to no damage or casualties.

If he had been training for years like Alex and the other D.E.O agents had within the agency it would be different. If he was willing to take his training with her and her sister seriously, she would feel better about teaming up with him or letting him go out by himself. Unfortunately, she had learnt that with James, his arrogance and his ego made sure it was always about him and his ways, no one else mattered, unless they agreed with him or their name was Superman.

She also learnt other things about James that she had suspected about him but never liked. Things like, he always thought he was right about everything, even if he knew nothing about the subject and was clearly making information up as he went and was clearly wrong (e.g**. **how to run a million-dollar company like CatCo World Media.) He would still believe he was right, and nothing would convince him otherwise except maybe Kal-El.

He didn't take instructions well; he didn't like being told what to do and always had "a better idea" on how to do things even if it was obvious that it would only make things worse. 

During their last disagreement about fighting techniques, James cracked it and snapped at her, saying some truly hurtful and disgusting things about her before storming out and heading back to CatCo. If you were to ask James why he stopped speaking to Kara or going to the D.E.O after that, he would say it was because there was a lack of trust in their friendship and didn’t like how the D.E.O ran things.

The truth was that he felt attacked and it affected him. The ego he was well known for was bruised and broken thanks to Kara being bluntly honest about what she truly thought about him and what he did.

Although she did try several different times to get in contact with him so that she could talk to him. Try to apologise and hopefully get some understanding on both sides so they can try to rebuild their damaged friendship. He however wouldn't listen to anything she had to say and just shrugged off any attempt on her part to reconnect with him. She felt like their friendship meant nothing to him and found out that with James that if you didn’t agree with him 100% then you did in fact mean than nothing to him, especially if he couldn't get what he wanted out of it.

No matter what he said or did to her (and Supergirl in the CatCo magazine) she didn’t want to give up on James or their friendship. Because she was so determined to fix the situation, she gave talking to him one more go. Sadly the talk didn't go very well, at all. The whole conversation was one-sided, he spent the whole twenty five to forty minutes insulting her and dragging up every piece of dirty detail he had on her from years of friendship with her and Kal-El. Including but not limited to her nightmares about Krypton, her deep rooted insecurities, fears about not being valuable as herself, losing her loved ones, her even deeper insecurities, uncertainness about whether or not she was deemed a good enough superhero for National City (or the world), never adding up to hype of Superman and how scared she is of failing everyone one day.

James really stuck it to her in his verbal bashing and refused to stop no matter how much she begged, cried and pleaded with him. He didn’t stop till he was forced to when she ran out of the CatCo Media building in full blown hysterics. Without thinking she ran into an alleyway, stripped down to her super-suit before taking off into the sky and landing in another alleyway closest to L-Corp. Before redressing and heading inside to Lena who she knew would still be working late into the night as she always did.

She rushed into Lena's office as fast as humanly possible, scaring Jess and almost scaring Lena into pressing her panic button under her desk. Which would have been 1. Pointless - because if Lena had pressed the panic button it would have alerted Supergirl there was danger at L-Corp, and she was already there and knew Lena wasn’t in any danger. 2. - It would have caused her unnecessary pain in the eardrums. After everyone had calmed down, Jess left Lena's office and went back to her desk knowing that her boss was safe and sound. She was happy knowing there was no danger that night and it was just Kara visiting her boss again. Once Kara was sure that they would not be interrupted she unknowingly superspeed into the waiting arms of Lena, who had moved from her seat behind her desk and was now sitting on her office couch.

She sat herself on Lena's lap and snuggled up close to her, burying her face in the spot between Lena’s neck and shoulder before bursting into tears once again. It took Lena almost three hours to calm her down. Once she did, it took her another hour to get her to tell her what was wrong and why she was so upset. Kara finally told her about how she was upset about Winn leaving for the future without saying goodbye to her, how she wished that she had feelings for him just so he wouldn't have been so hurt he had to leave.

She also told Lena in as little detail as possible about what happened between her and James early that night (because she feared what Lena would do to James if she knew the full truth) and that was why she was currently in Lena's lap. She didn’t mention that she was so upset she mindlessly flew to her and she didn’t know why but decided not to question it at that point in time.

A few weeks later James was mysteriously let go from his job at CatCo, rejected by any workplace looking for employment within the California area. Adding insult to injury Lena Luthor rejected all his advances towards her, she even did it in front of all her employees at L-Corp when it seemed James didn’t understand the word 'No'. He really took this as a huge blow to his already bruised ego and masculinity because he strongly believes Lena could never do better than him and couldn’t understand how someone like a pathetic Luthor could ever dream of rejecting James Bartholomew Olsen.

His pride was definitely wounded after that embarrassing event. With nowhere else to work and no one to leech off of from in National City, James had no other choice but to go back to Superman in Metropolis with his tail between his legs and grovel for his old job with the Daily Planet back.


	4. Then - Mon-El and J'onn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't stand Mon-El and my feelings towards J'onn are neutral, I don't like him but I don't hate him. Read how Mon-El let his ego get in the way of what could of been something great.

# Then - Mon-El And J’onn:

Kara really thought she would be happier than this, I mean yes she's devastated and confused by both Winn and James. She can’t believe how they treated her when they didn't get their own way. Even though she is bothered by it all she didn’t really have time to stop and think about it as she just got back together with Mon-El the night before. She thought he was the love of her life and considering they had been apart for nearly a whole month due to Mon-El’s infidelity (Mon-El was caught cheating in the supply closet of CatCo media with Eve yet again) she spent as much time with him trying to play catch up for lost time.

All she felt was more weighed down than ever before but for the life of her she just couldn't figure out why. She considered talking to her sister, Alex about it but just like the others in her personal life she hadn't seen or heard from her sister besides important business which hurt more than she would ever admit out loud.

Besides, she really didn’t want to annoy Alex any more than she already did. Especially since she herself had just gotten into a new relationship with Maggie Sawyer, the hot new detective after months of endless denial of her sexuality. Going to her Space father and boss J'onn J'onzz was totally and completely out of the question because he wouldn't fully understand what's wrong. No matter how long he lives on earth he will never fully understand human emotion, which meant he would only suggest what he always did when she came to him with her problems and that is she spend some time resting under the red sun lamp. Kara truly didn’t know how to explain this to him and considering he couldn’t read her mind like he could with the others at the D.E.O, she decided she didn’t want to disturb J'onn with her pathetic personal problems. He was also way busier now that Lucy decided to go undercover again which left him to single handedly deal the D.E.O and all its alien related problems.

Alex was too busy in the honeymoon stage of her relationship to help J’onn out which left only Lena. They weren't that close after Kara came out to her as an alien when she flew to the hotel in Ireland where Lena was staying while she attended meetings and conferences about the new technology L-Corp will be releasing in the coming months, when she had another fight with mon-El. Which was no fault of Lena's, she’s just been too scared to face her and to see her reaction since finding out the truth about Kara. She still hasn’t told her that she is Supergirl, just that she was an alien, her secret has been kept from Lena for the entire time of their friendship (three years) and that is honestly why she’s so scared of her reaction. Three years of lies is a long time, she has every reason to be afraid of Lena’s reaction. Especially when she finds out she is Supergirl, cousin of her brother's nemesis.

Kara really couldn't handle yet another close personal loss this soon, so she decided to pretend nothing was wrong between them and that they were just too busy to hang out. Her decision to pretend nothing was wrong led to her being by herself and that is never a good thing. In her depressed mood she thought going to the alien bar by herself was the best idea in the world. When she first got there she ran into Alex's new girlfriend, Maggie, playing pool with some of the regulars at the bar. Before she could slip away unnoticed, Maggie caught her in the corner of her eye.

"Hey Baby Danvers, fancy seeing you here. Are the boys here with you or are you by yourself?" She asked with a teasing smile.

"I-I am by myself and there is nothing wrong with that. Not like I have a choice" she mumbled the last bit so Maggie wouldn't be able to hear it.

"Well Baby Danvers, why didn't you just say so. You could join the rest of these guys and get your ass epically handed to you in a game of pool by yours truly, Me! And just because you’re my girlfriend's little sister doesn't mean I'm going to go easy on you" she said with a wink.

"Loser buys the next round" Maggie shouted to the others around the pool table.

A few hours of playing pool later, Maggie and the rest of the gang declared it a night and went home leaving Kara alone at the bar. She could finally do what she has been dying to do all night get completely wasted on alien rum

.

The next day she woke up hungover in her small room at the D.E.O. Having a killer headache and no recollection of how she got there, She wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone's bullshit - especially her so called friends and newly ex-boyfriend Mon-El (she vaguely remembers dumping him over the phone last night in her drunken state. She doesn’t fully support her decision to do it over the phone but right now, she couldn’t care less).

Kara knew that he was too busy trying to impress her to do any real good on his own and would either get his ass handed to him or come close to getting himself captured and she would have to go and save him yet again. Mon-El took nothing seriously except his love for control over her. Whenever she tried to train him for real life battle, he just wanted to flirt with her the whole time. This caused her to quickly grow frustrated then irritated and lastly she began to get 'super' angry and had to leave to take a break before she did something she may regret later - like kill him or skin him alive.

She didn’t care that he still had feelings for her, or that he kissed her when he thought he was dying. She only cared that he never put any effort into anything unless he got something back in return. Even when Alex or J’onn were instructing him, he always tried to get something extra out of each training session for his efforts, as if he needed to be bribed to be there or to do good. She wanted him to live up to his true potential because he wanted to and not because she was some prize, which she detested being viewed as.

She hated being seen as some prize to be won. In spite of Mon-El’s declaration of just being friends she didn’t believe it; his motivations were obvious to her and her patience with him was wearing thin. She just wished he could be honest with her and do things for himself for once. She liked being his friend as she liked being friends with a few people. Only he made it so hard most of the time; and all her good intentions with him were beginning to bite her in the ass.

In the days leading up to him quitting, she had had enough of his childish behaviour and him not trying. She decided to talk to him about it privately, after a really bad fight with two mega large angry hormonal aliens.

"MON-EL, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT OUT THERE. YOU NEARLY GOT YOURSELF HURT OR WORSE KILLED AND YOU TOTALLY DIDN’T HAVE MY BACK OUT THERE. WHAT HAPPENED TO WANTING TO BE A REAL HERO" Kara Zor-El's pissed off voice boomed once back safely at the D.E.O headquarters.

"I DIDN'T WANT TO BE SOME GOD DAMN MIGHTY HERO, BUT YOU MADE ME ONE AND I JUST WANTED TO IMPRESS YOU. LOOK AT WHAT GOOD THAT DID ME!" Mon-El shouted back at her, still in the middle of the D.E.O.

A few days after this argument, he decided he had enough of being a hero and quit the D.E.O. He got a new job and started working as a full-time bartender at the local alien bar, Al's Dive Bar. A place that she had introduced him to but stopped attending once he got the job.

After she had suffered another loss, which added up to four consecutive losses, she decided that she really needed her sister's support and advice now. So, the next day she went to her sister’s apartment for a surprise sister’s night.

Too bad it was actually Kara who was in for a nasty surprise.


	5. After - Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what to say about Alex, I think she is self-righteous but that is only from what I've read in fanfiction. Read how her self-righteousness and her stubborn need to be right and in control damages both her relationship with Kara and Kara as a whole.
> 
> I am hopping to release a new chapter in the next few weeks while I am full of creative ideas

# After- Alex:

For many years Alex Danvers was Kara Zor-El's rock, her safe place and her big sister. She was always there for her through everything. She helped a great deal when she first started turning into an animal instead of getting her periods once a month like humans. Alex was there to comfort her as her adopted parents, Eliza and Jeremiah explained how the earth's atmosphere affected her alien biology. Which in turn made her turn into an animal instead of getting her period for a week, they had also warned her that due to the change in her biology (which is caused by earth's atmosphere) there may be other things that may be unlike the human anatomy, reproductive system or additional things, such as having a faster metabolism than the average human. Although, she already knew about having a different anatomy to humans thanks to the data crystal’s her parents placed in her pod. She also knew that once she found her one true mate, she would gain healing powers and the ability to sense her mate’s presence and feelings.

It wasn’t until later that she discovered it was actually traveling from Krypton’s atmosphere into the phantom zone’s one then landing on earth that caused her transformation which is why Clark does not transform into an animal.

Alex was there on the nights when shifting from form to form got too much for her to handle, especially after her powers started kicking in around her late teens. Alex was there when she would wake up screaming and shouting from yet another one of her vivid nightmares surrounding the destruction of her home. Kara was usually absolutely drenched in sweat and unable to speak English for a very long time which meant Alex had to try and learn Kryptonese which she did but very little and even then, it was still choppy and terrible attempts.

She would slip out of her bed and into Kara's before pulling her close and holding her all night whilst she whispered sweet nothings into her ear until she finally fell back into a restless sleep. Alex was there when everyone in her close circle started drifting away until finally, she was left with just Alex. That was fine with her, it was always them united against the world.

Then they weren't and honestly, it's not like she could blame Alex for leaving, she has spent so long living her life for Kara. Alex finally had a chance to have a life for herself and Kara likes Maggie, she really does. If she had to pick one person for Alex to spend the rest of her life with it would probably be her. But that doesn't mean it doesn't destroy her when Alex forgets the day of remembrance, the day they shared together to honour the death and destruction of Krypton and her people or the date of her Earth birthday.

She can barely remember what her world looked like anymore; she can't remember the stories her father used to tell her, or the way her mother would sing to her at night. She can't even remember their faces. And that was fine, because she had a new family, she had Alex, Eliza, Winn, James, Mon-El and J'onn (she stopped counting on Kal-El) except she doesn't anymore.

She is alone again, those in her life have forsaken her once more and she is terrified.

Unlike the other important people in her life that walked out as of late, she didn't have a falling out or a nasty argument with her sister. Alex has just been so busy being happy for the first time in her life that it's like she has been tossed to the side. Alex was so enamoured with Maggie that it's like she's forgotten about Kara completely and she doesn’t know how to cope with that.

She was so used to always having Alex by her side that when Alex wasn’t there anymore it felt like she was missing a limb. It wasn’t bad at first, Kara was definitely incredibly understanding towards Alex and her wanting to spend her free time with Maggie. She knew how nice it felt to be in a new relationship and she could only guess how freeing it must feel for Alex to truly be herself for once, to be with the one she truly wanted and could make her really happy.

It was a different story when Alex started to neglect anything Kara related that wasn’t connected to Supergirl. This continued for months after they got together, that was when she really started to feel hurt. Having learnt from her failed attempts at confronting the problem head on with the others, she decided to wait until Alex finally came to her. Which sadly took months and caused more unseen damage to Kara and her fragile mental health.

The talk like all talks lately turned into a fight and it went something like this: 

"I don't understand what all the fuss is about Kara, I'm just spending some quality time with my girlfriend for a change. You know not everything is about you and your problems all the time!" Alex exploded.

"I KNOW THAT I JUST WANT ONE SISTER NIGHT TO GO UNINTERRUPTED BY STUPID MAGGIE FOR RAO DAMN ONCE" Kara screamed, beyond pissed at being abandoned and only wanted for her freaking Super abilities.

"DON’T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MAGGIE LIKE TH-"

"When was the last time we had sister’s night together or spent any time together uninterrupted that wasn’t Supergirl related? Did you know that I had a huge falling out with Winn before he left? Or that I also had one with James before he left National City too?" Kara asked, wanting to finally be able to start to get some shit off her chest.

Alex was shocked that she didn't know any of this happened in her baby sister’s life, but she was far too angry at that moment to care.

"Oh boohoo! So you had a few disagreements with friends, that doesn't give you the right to disrespect Maggie" Alex sneered, completely missing the point once more.

She was upset, confused and lost but above all else Kara Zor-El was tired of everything. She has lost so much in her short life on both Earth and Krypton. So, she just gave up fighting and let Alex leave without saying a word. Alex came by the next day with pot stickers and ice-cream to apologize for her part in their fight, even if she wasn't ready to admit that yes, she was abandoning her baby sister to be with her girlfriend.

Kara accepted Alex's apology because she knew that was what the bigger person would have done, she thought that everything would go back to normal and it kind of did for a while. There was a slight change with Alex spending half her time and most nights with Maggie, but she was okay with that. Up until the moment Alex got really hurt in the line of duty and instead of going to her afterwards (like she always did) she went to Maggie for comfort which left her feeling like a kicked puppy.

When she went to Alex's apartment a few days later for a surprise sisters night, after what happened to Alex and Kara having had suffered yet another loss in Mon-El, which added up to four consecutive losses in six months, she really needed her sister's undivided attention, love, support and advice around about now. Only to get a nasty surprise of finding out that her sister had moved out days before without telling her anything - like where she moved to which she assumed was with Maggie. She didn't know where the detective lived and couldn't be bothered to find out.

She returned back to her apartment where she felt even more alone with no place to go. She tried to call Kal, but he never replied, which wasn't much of a shock, but in her state, it cut deeper into her already open and bleeding wounds. Kara felt like another part of her died, she felt like she could never be herself anymore. Losing Alex was the last straw for Kara, who felt abandoned, alone, used and completely crushed and destroyed.

One of her biggest fears came true. She was utterly and truly too damaged and broken to be loved because once again, Kara Zor-El was cut off from everyone and everything that she has ever known or loved**. **In many ways, this almost seemed worse than watching Krypton being wiped from the stars and history when she was only a child because they have chosen to abandon her.


	6. Authors Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please read!

Hey guys who are still reading this story,

I have been so busy lately where I was going with this story and I've had ideas for other stories that I might be starting in the near future but I won't be promising a finish to any of them due to the fact I struggle with writing an ending.

If anyone cares to see it continued then let me know, I'm open to ideas, if not the story will be on hold til I can think of ideas for the story that will connect with how I first pictured this fanfic going.

**Author's Note:**

> SIDENOTE:
> 
> I have never watched Supergirl so the timeline will not follow the story as I've literally just made the story up.  
Since Kara is an alien who gets her powers from the Earth's sun instead of getting her period once a month like the female humans, she transforms into a wolf type creature for a week. She could turn back into her normal form during that time but it is very painful so she tries not to which means J'onn has to be Supergirl for that time she is out of service. 
> 
> Also in her wolf form is where her issues show the most especially her separation anxiety with being away from Lena and abandonment issues.
> 
> Kara is known to be a very clingy and tactile person towards her close family and friends. Especially towards Lena as their relationship continued to build (She refuses to leave Lena's side in her panther form at all).


End file.
